Yes, indeed, I am home. But as we all well know, just moving from one thing to the next. (Never mind that the next is quite amorphous at this time) I would like first to say that I will continue to use this blog page as long as AIM will let me, so don't cancel your update alerts. While there is a lot going on, and I'm only beginning to process the last year, I do have a couple of things to share with you... 1) Our last video update!
2) I want to link a couple of recent blogs about coming home from Julie, Lauren, and Elizabeth. They are pretty funny, but also have some profound truths in them as well.
3) Jane, myself, and the rest of the Racers made it into the May newsletter of PorchdeSalomon. It's in PDF format, but worth looking at.
So, with all of those vital updates out of the way, I must say that I love springtime in the South. It reeks havoc on my sinuses and all that jazz, but I just want to bottle that floral smell up and pour in into a forever long hot bath. That would have been an awesome welcome home. What a wonderful time to come home and experience all the nostalgia and sunshine. Market Street Festival was this weekend, so it was like Columbus threw me a big welcome back Kotter party and invited 20,000+ of my closest friends. I remember walking down the street on Saturday with my friends Adam and Liza, being positively overrun with people, and joking that it feels like I never left the crowded streets of wherever-ville, therefore easing my culture shock.
I'm not quite sure what the summer will hold for me, as I said before, but I am looking to stay connected with AIM to some degree or another. This is the 'play it by ear' portion of the program... just with my ear firmly planted to the leather-bound Good Book. I've got some traveling to do, some time to carve out to spend to myself, some more friends and family to meet up with and that sort of thing. So continued prayers for more grace and flexibility as I seek wisdom and vision. And again; thank you, thank you for all of the support.
So I'm just gonna throw out something fun because I've had a very intense (and productive) day and am in need of a little break. Final debrief has been a mixture of high emotion, serious preparation, and much needed relaxation. We're close. Very close. Yikes. But it's cool. It's the right time. With the need for some fun, this is a portion of an email that Courtney's mom sent to her, full of wit and wisdom. Naturally, I would encourage you to read the entirety of the blog on Courtney's site:
The reentry of a World Racer. You are the guinea pig for it, but I have all confidence.
First,
no dope slap (not literal just a good talking to), just a big Mom hug.
I will squish your head into my breasts so that you can have warm
memories of nursing.
Second,
I have hidden all of the toilet paper. I don't want you to be slammed
right into society. We have also had a squatty potty installed in your
bathroom and removed the door.
Third,
I will take all showers with you until you are OK in the bathroom
alone. When you are fine taking a shower by yourself, then I'll just
stay in the bathroom while you shower.
Fourth, you can just wait until next Christmas to open your gifts. I don't want you to feel spoiled.
Fifth, you can't use the new washer for at least a month. I don't want you walking around in clean clothes.
Sixth, I bought a bunch of beans and rice so that you don't have to digest meat right away. Strawberries are in season.
Seventh,
we are taking away Rhonda (my car) for a month. Gas is too expensive
and it would just be entirely too convenient to be able to go wherever
you want to. There is still a bus stop on Eastwood Road.
Eighth,
I had your new cell phone line disconnected. Too much pressure, that
way if people don't like you, you won't know, they can't get up with
you anyway.
If there are any other requests, just let me know. Also, I can customize this program for any other racers that need one.
Of course, if anyone that I plan on seeing in the next few months thinks it's a good idea to feed me only rice and beans, I would strongly encourage you to reconsider and cook me steak instead. Ditto for showering with me.
I have nothing deep or profound prepared for this, one of my final blogs before returning to the states, but I am led to begin saying goodbye. I just know that we are a week away from the closure of one adventure and the beginning of another. Honestly, the title of this blog just kinda popped into my head as a way of describing this series of events. The year's seasons form a circle and so do the seasons of life. They look different for everyone, but each one of them is guided by the light of the Lord in the same way that the sun's rays control the temperature. As this season comes to a close, I know that a tough transition is coming. One would be foolish not to treat this change with due respect. There is no telling what some, if not most of us will be doing in a week, a month, 3 months, much less a year.
I've been in a lot of thought and meditation and prayer lately about what my life will look like when I get home, and where it will go next. I can't say that I've gotten anything solid; I also can't say that I believe its time for me to know what's next yet. This year I have learned to depend on God in ways that I literally have never thought of and my experiences and lessons will be invaluable as I navigate new waters. Again, I do not expect a cake-walk, but I do expect to be guided by my Lord in many ways, including through my friends, family and supporters who have been so encouraging for the last year.
Today, all of the Racers and the first batch of our debriefers are arriving and the end is inescapably beginning. Please pray for us as emotions begin to swell and fears are fought back down. Please prepare to greet us with grace and love as well as joy, because we are preparing to do the same. See y'all soon, and very soon, indeed!
(I dug one out of the archives, look at us greenhorns back in Atlanta!)
Well today was just fun. With more of this 'ministry is life, life is ministry' attitude running around, it's easy to see how a simple trip turns into so much more. While preparing Solomon's Porch (porchdesalomon en Espanol) coffee house for their short move in Panajachel, we were given the opportunity to go see a few families/friends in neighboring Santa Catarina. This is the short story of what happens when you mix ministry and life... you get way more of both. Two bags of rice, diapers, candy and cooking oil were necessities, sure, but it quickly became evident that we brought ample prayers, smiles and fun as well. It all started when we admired the traditional clothing...
Then, suddenly, all of the girls looked a little like this:
And before you know it, one guy sticks out like a blandly colored thumb:
(please excuse our novice photographer, he means the absolute best)
I was feeling down that I didn't have any sweet clothes to match my friends, but my teammates made sure to include me in the fun,
We've spent several weeks now moving back and forth through Honduras, staying in places we didn't want to and in pretty crappy hostels.Some of us have sincere aversions to entire cities because of bad experiences or feeling spiritually oppressed or like we are wasting time.Sometimes it just all seems to come together.It's usually after a long period of asking why and going through things that don't make any sense and are really tough.
You know what?Forget it; no more introductions or prefaces.God is on fire.God is a consuming fire.He's consuming us daily and He's consuming others as well.He's consuming Dustin and Sheldon and especially Adam.They know it and so do we.Does that mean we are doing something right?Heck no.Does that mean we are righteous and worthy?Not a chance.It means that His grace is sufficient for us.It means His love is truly Almighty and He is a warrior.These Army guys and girls we have met and hung out with are warriors and protectors also.They speak of giving their lives for one another without hesitation.They volunteer to be away from their families for a year or more at a time and go through incredible hardships.It's no secret that some people receive special training on how to survive if taken captive and interrogated... tortured.
I can't even look at that word without breaking down into tears.It really troubled me and I had to fight to type it.It's taken minutes for me to start this next paragraph.The bond I've already developed with these guys is incredible and it has absolutely ripped my heart out to think of what they have subjected themselves to just in training of defense of someone else's life, for my life, for yours.Something has been struck in me and I'm not going to stop writing until it's out.Sometimes I feel so inadequate.I look at how kind everyone has been to me and I think what a failure I am because I'm not as kind and giving as they are and I'm the one who has the Joy of the Lord.I feel like that for a little while and then the Lord will bring one of them to me and they will say how much they have needed someone to come along in their life and be something new and fresh and complete.And then I realize I'm not a failure.I'm being used by God.I'm decreasing and He's increasing, both in my own life and in someone else's.
When I think about the sacrifice a soldier makes for a civilian, it's the same thing as Jesus did.God himself was tied up and beaten... mercilessly.He was absolutely torn open by clubs and whips sewn with jagged pieces of rock and bone.He was beaten for me, so I wouldn't have to suffer a blow.Look deep inside and discover that you believe what's written: that the wages of sin is (indeed) death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23).He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and He gave everything, everything, for you.What a concept!A love that surpasses all.Find a quiet place to truly meditate on and ponder that fact for a while... the fact that God is a God of unfathomable love and mercy... see if it doesn't change your outlook a bit.See if it doesn't humble you.
I just looked back at that word I had trouble typing and the movie "The Passion of the Christ" comes flooding back as I stopped again to weep.I weep because it's so real.Sometimes Jesus is ethereal and mystic to me.I wish I could portray the emotion and heart that I'm pouring out into this.Not because I want you to see me, but because I want you to see what's going on in me.It's hard for a person who's set up in a tangible world to absorb an intangible Savior from thousands of years ago.God's been putting the faces of Van and Emile, Rob, Corey, Rachel and Vijay, Dustin, Sheldon, and Adam in my mind's eye.Their sacrifices are very real and tangible to me.That's what the whole point is, anyway.God is in everyone and each one of us is a special creation of His, created in His image.Perhaps for the first time ever, I'm truly seeing the face of God in someone.I can see exactly how God rejoiced in knitting them together in their mother's wombs; how he boasts righteously that He knows the exact number of hairs there are on their heads and that the thoughts He thinks for them are more numerous than the grains of sand on the seashore.
He's given me the ability to share in His joy and love for His own creation.It's been very special for me.I can see how God clothes the flowers of the field and the birds of the air in radiant beauty and that not even King Solomon could dress himself in such splendor.And then to understand that if He clothes things like the grass that is temporary in such splendor, that He will certainly clothe His precious creation (you) so much more elegantly and eternally... it makes Him even more real and lovely.
So where am I going with all of this? Where am I being led? I'm being led to understand what it means to make a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19 speaks of newness. Newness of life and love and grace. I've always loved that verse and have desired to understand its deep meaning. God is doing a new thing. He is making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. We are just blessed to be a part of it. This last month has been a conflagration of many experiences and ups and downs. I always knew (all of my team did) that it was going to be for a great and glorious thing, that the Kingdom of God would be expanded and glorified because of our smallness and His greatness. Sometimes it feels like we've been through the ringer, run over by confusion and uncertainty. It's been a difficult month of traveling, worrying about safety and budgets, giving in to fear and lies, conflicting on what we are supposed to do, being quick to anger and slow to love at times... all the things us 'Christians,' that have love, should not be doing, should have conquered long ago.
God is springing up. He's springing up in the lives of our new friends. I was so concerned when we were first getting to know them that we weren't really any different to them. I was afraid we were simply new people to talk to because the base is very secluded. That's another thing that I felt conquered by, that I wasn't really different deep down; that people didn't see something else in me. But I know that's not true. I know that I am set apart and that the Spirit of the Lord is upon me. He's been showing me how I can allow Him to make a difference just by being. As we moved from Utila to Comayagua, I understood that what God needed me to do was to just be me. I've gotten a lot of confirmation lately about how I'm supposed to live my life. He's been reassuring me that all I'm supposed to do is be me, and that He's happy with me. Everything I do is supposed to be for His glory and Honor, even the simple act of just living my life.
That is what this month has been for me. I've learned that God is pleased with me in the day to day and He uses me even when I don't notice it. Even when I'm being stubborn or whatever, I'm still loved. It's that easy. I've always heard that the truth of the Gospel is easy. That's becoming a reality to me. I was loved first. So were you.
Sometimes you just get chill bumps. Tuesday just before lunch two US Army Blackhawk helicopters took off from the Utila airport taking some new friends with them. As I finished waving goodbye and began to think about what an incredibly nice and hospitable group I had met, I was overwhelmed with warm and fuzzy feelings. These were quickly blown off the face of the earth by a deafening roar of rotor blades as the birds seemingly leaped off the ground and into the sky. The power and decisiveness was truly stunning. Yes, I did walk away with chill bumps; partially due to the awesome force of the choppers, and partially due to the magnitude of character contained in them. Guys and Gals, this blog is for you. It's to say 'Thank you.' When we set off through Nicaragua and Honduras, we prayed God would set our paths for us and introduce us to just the right people. Without a doubt, you are those people. As we've traveled the world, we often find that as much as we go somewhere and try to serve or minister to the people we meet, we are so much more served and blessed by them. You are no exception. How much did we learn from each other? I can barely start the list. How amazing was it to see that, although we have so many things different between us, we have such strong similarities for family, service and belonging to something greater? Van, Sheldon, Dustin, Emile, Corey, Dave, Craig, Joe, Rob, Rachel, Vijay and the rest of you aviators and medics and psychologists that I've misspelled or skipped... Thank you for a cookout like no other. Thank you for the lessons in avoiding nasty spiked sea creatures. Thank you for belly flops of glory. Thank you for giving a Christian a lesson in hospitality and fellowship. Thank you for the conversations; I know none of us walked away empty handed. Thanks for stretching our beliefs and not being close minded, but rather, curious. Thanks for having fun with us. Thank you for serving your country. I thank every single person in any military branch, serving at home or abroad with utmost sincerity. Thanks for the fly-by. It's probably the coolest thing that's ever happened to me. A prayer: God, thank you. Thank you for your Son, your grace and mercy and your love. Thank you for a great weekend with a group of incredibly diverse people... surfers, musicians, intelligence agents, pilots, backpackers, technicians, divers, missionaries, environmentalists, goof balls... from no less that 4 different countries. Just thanks. I love you. Amen.
So... sometimes on the WR, you just have to treat yourself. There is no way around it. We are in San Pedro Sula right now and there is something here that I literally haven't seen all year. It's a product that is on the same order of specialty that Dr. Pepper is, and infinitely more rare. Slice and Bake Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough (dum dum dummmmmm!) The best decision I've made in a really long time was to buy a roll of the magic putty and share it with the team. Behold the aftermath...
When we recover, we are headed to the north coast somewhere to try and minister to people during Holy Week. God has been a faithful and timely provider and we trust in His continued blessings and directions.
I typed a really good blog about how we got from Managua, Nicaragua to Tegucigalpa, Honduras on no plans whatsoever and have been trying to post it for days. Sometimes its formatting, sometimes its a computer won´t even read my flash drive, sometimes its no connectivity with my computer... so this is the blog that wasn´t because the blog that is, isn´t.
Yes, we did make it from one capital to another through divine providence and, well, through divine providence. The details are just details, but a special thanks goes out to ¨Bubba¨from South Carolina. Once in Teguz, we found a cheap hostel near the square and went out to meet God and see what we were there for. Turns out, we were only there to pray for an old man in a church and because God knew Beth would need an American Embassy. Somewhere along the way, she lost her passport (completely out of character for Beth, I must defend her responsibility) and was able to get a temporary one in 24 HOURS!!!! Yes, God can do anything.
So here we are, in Valla de Angeles, a small tourist trap outside of Teguz, really just a weekend retreat, setting up our on shops around the square and talking with unsuspecting English speakers about the God we serve. We are also answering the prayers of a woman and her family just down the road, who has been praying for missionaries to serve. We are they and she couldn´t be happier. We´re going to church with them every night in preparation for Holy Week and being whatever service we can to her and her family.
